Tag Archives: you cannot be serious

You’ll Never Learn

A while back I called out Mazda for showing a complete lack of perspective in one of their commercials.

They did it again, and this time the offense was even more egregious than calling a professional daredevil a “courageous thinker.”

They compared themselves to Bruce Lee, Frank Lloyd Wright…and Jackie Robinson.  Jack Roosevelt Robinson.

I wish I were kidding.

I went to the movies last night for the first time in a while to see Anchorman 2.  I don’t think I’ll write about it because…well, I mean, it is what it is.  But this, I can’t let go.

Mazda fancies itself as an innovative company.  Okay.  That’s fine.  But you have to know what you’re innovating here, and that’s cars.  Yes, they are important in today’s society, but literally every single car company in the world is also doing research and innovating new technologies.  It’s the only way for them to stay relevant.

To put together a longer-than-average commercial that takes itself super seriously with the intent of airing it before freaking Anchorman 2 is preposterous in and of itself, but to put yourself up there with those people?  Come on.  Is there anyone at this company who sees these things before they air?  Or at the ad agency?  Anyone?  Anywhere?

Mazda will never have the cultural significance of Bruce Lee.  They will never change the auto industry the way Frank Lloyd Wright changed architecture.  And they will never come close to even being in the same solar system of the significance and importance of Jackie Robinson.

On a positive note, even a ridiculous ad like this will make people talk about your company, and there is the old adage that any publicity is good publicity.  At the same time, if there is anyone out there that thinks this is a good ad – hey, I’ll even take anyone who doesn’t think it’s a ridiculously preposterous ad – please, stand up and be counted.

And then cash your check from Mazda, because clearly you must work for them.


You Point the Finger at Me, But I Don’t Believe

The Masters is the most prestigious golf tournament in the world.  Those that run the tournament at Augusta National Golf Club often behave as if the Masters and Augusta itself are beyond reproach.

Which is why I find it rather peculiar that Tiger Woods was the victim of the golf version of a citizen’s arrest on Saturday morning.  The gist: Woods took what turned out to be an illegal drop during Friday’s second round.  A video review was initiated, and rules officials approved the drop.  Woods then gave an interview after the round where he said he dropped two yards behind his previous shot.  That’s against the rules, so the committee assessed him a two-stroke penalty.

Now, this presented a problem, because Woods had signed for a 71, and his score was now 73.  Generally, signing an incorrect scorecard means disqualification.  However, the rules committee waived this option because of the circumstances under which the penalty was given.  Opinion on this ruling has been divided, to say the least.

That debate is irrelevant to the point I want to make.  My problem with this situation is why the rules officials initiated their review: because a television viewer called in.

That’s ridiculous.  This cannot continue to happen (side note: this happens a lot more often than you’d think).  I’m all about respecting the integrity of whatever game it is you’re playing, but how about showing some respect for the integrity of the live event?  Who are you, Mr. Narc, to sit at home and call a foul on someone hundreds or thousands of miles away?  And more importantly, why are these tournaments taking these calls?

Can you imagine watching the NBA Finals and there being a delay because someone called in to say that LeBron James took an extra step on his last basket?  Or if a match-winning goal in the World Cup was taken off the board because someone on their couch thought the striker was offside?  No, you can’t, because those ideas are ludicrous.

I admit that both of those examples are extreme.  But the truth is, how are they different from what happened at Augusta yesterday?  If you can present me with a reasoned, valid, logical argument as to how calling in to rat out a golfer is any different than calling in a foul or violation in another sport, then I will get off my high horse.

(Actually, no I wont.  There is no way I will ever think it’s an acceptable practice.  I’ll just stop talking about it until it happens again.)

It’s ridiculous, it’s preposterous, and it’s ridiculously preposterous.  And yet it continues to happen, and officials continue to take the calls.  Stop.  Everyone.  Just stop.  If you can’t watch a golf tournament without feeling the pompous need to call tournament organizers, then just turn off the television.  Please.  For everyone else’s sake.  I mean, possibly the worst part about all of this is that there is someone somewhere that is forever proud of him or herself for being the one to make the call.

Golf fans: be fans.  If you want to be rules mavens, go be rules mavens on the course.  No one asked your opinion, so keep it to yourself.  And Augusta: if you’re better than everyone else, start acting like it, and do your own dirty work.

I Won’t Tell ‘Em Your Name

As we all know, big-time college football is getting a “playoff” – a four-team event that incorporates current bowl games with an yet-to-be-determined selection process to decide a “true” national champion.

What took so long?  Well, I don’t want to be simplistic and say it was about money, but it’s about money.  Under the current system, the bowls make a ton of it, the conferences make a ton of it, and the schools make a ton of it.  If you ain’t broke, don’t go fixin’ anything.

So consider this story.  The crux of it is that the playoff will soon reveal its name and logo, but unlike the bowl games, that name will not have a corporate sponsor.

Um, what?

The whole racket is about money.  You desecrated tradition by putting names on the Rose and Cotton Bowls and phasing out the Florida Citrus and Peach Bowl names altogether in favor corporate sponsors.  But now you want to liken your event to The Masters and the Final Four?

No. You can’t get away with it, Bill Hancock. You can’t pull a fast one like that, BCS administrators.

Give me a break.  Sell it to the highest bidder and move on.  You know, like you’ve been doing for years.